Winning back the heart of an ex boyfriend or husband depends mainly on your ability to show him you can change the things that initiated a problem in your relationship in the first place.
The main core reasons men decide to end a relationship are either the feeling of claustrophobia or the feeling of monotony (or both) that has gradually settled in and made the relationship difficult and undesirable.
There are ways to deal with both of these issues.
If you commit to it, and if you still have strong feelings for him, you can win your ex back and avoid a new break-up possibly over the same old reasons, even if at times it won’t be too easy.
Before you start dealing with your breakup and make the decision to win his heart back, you have to be sure you are ready to make certain changes and actually carry them out.
Otherwise, if you don’t think you are ready or if you think changes won’t last or won’t be possible at all, it might be a better idea not to try to get continue and just move on, because the new relationship will suffer the same problems you already experienced and will only be painful.
On the other hand, if you are ready to make a sustainable change, you can contact your ex and move forward with a plan.
At first, don’t bring up the subject of your partnership, nor mention your feelings or your desire to get back together with him. The reason for contacting him should rather be to enquire about what he is up to in general and without imposing pressure.
Slowly increase the frequency of your calls or mails (again: slowly, not instantly…). When you feel it’s appropriate, you can propose an uncomplicated meeting. Think of an activity you both previously did together and enjoyed. It will serve as a reminder for him of the good times you spent together and will show him there is maybe something more to being together.
While you are together try to make him realize (in a subtile manner) that you made some changes. Keep a calm and confident attitude; don’t act upon his feelings by becoming clingy and obsessive, as this can only increase his negative feelings and push him further away, before he is ready to make a reassessment.
Don’t forget to keep in shape and even improve upon your fitness if you didn’t take much exercise lately. This will have two consequences: the first one is that your ex will feel more attracted to you. The second one is that it will attract other males and your ex’s protective instinct will start working in your interest. However, be sure not to act on the attention of other men, as this can hurt your ex and make him drift away. They can show attention but you don’t have to act upon it seriously. Just acknowledge it, while directing all your attention to your ex partner.